peace

so i realized sunday night that i miss little e. little ecca. she was free and fun and confident. she had long shiny dark-brown hair, soft cheeks and a smile that was coy and silly. she loved riding bikes and making chocolate chip cookies with her mom. she watered plants and did jazzercise. not perfectly, of course. she sat in her dadddy's lap and jump-roped till her feet were sore. and she had this catapillar that wrapped itself in a cacoon and became this scary, ugly monster of a moth. it still gives her the heebees to think about it. and she was sad cuz she was hoping it'd be a beautiful butterfly.

i don't think it's too late for me to want a part of littl e back. and there is a peace, that in fact, contrary to popular opinion, this is the true me.