there is absolutely nothing sweeter than honest fellowship.

i wonder how people survive without the Body of Christ. without a place to know you, your very specific gifts and talents are being used & valued. without a place to call home, wherever you are. be it in des moines, california, south carolina, new york, texas. and without a place where the last say is nobody in particular, but Abba Father, who loves us all more than we could eachother.

there is an immense amount of rest for me, in this. the rest (and the fun) comes in knowing that no one particular group is going to fill all my needs. thankfully. it creates my reliance even stronger upon the Lord.

i've been frustrated in the recent past with people who cannot see the glory that is in the Body. mostly other believers. mostly my age. the beauty that comes with committing to an imperfect group of people & seeing the Holy Spirit surprise us.

but then He reminds me of when that was me. and how it was a mixture of different feelings & strongholds that only He could clean-up.

i was afraid i wouldn't get my way
i was afraid i would have to change
i was afraid i would not be heard
i was afraid i would become boring & brainwashed
i was afraid i would commit to the wrong group
i was afraid i would have to be held accountable
i was afraid i would have to grow-up
i was afraid i wouldn't have any fun

and then one day, it just clicked. He made it click for me. i can't even say exactly what it was. maybe i was just tired of being tired & restless. and i longed to know people & them to know me.

i'm so thankful for the fellowship i call home (the one in dsm). they show me what devotion, obedience & surrender look like. most of the time it's just sharing eachother's lives & hearts. it's praying together, it's hoping together, it's wanting more of Him together.

while i've been blessed with an amazing family, this is THE family, i believe, He's always wanted for me. and for the first time, the thought of moving & 'exploring,' or adventure, while it's enticing, doesn't really appeal to me. i would go if i was led, but i don't have to. i'm not compelled to. that's a big deal for me.