c.s. lewis is a smart man

i see now how badly i screwed up and how i didn't know any better.

i have been listening to c.s. lewis' 'the four loves' on CD these last couple days...on the drives between lightedge, starbucks, babysitting, and the ocassional time where i get to go somewhere I want to go-like zanzibar's or moffit lake.

what i'm learning is that not only have i been loving for the wrong reasons, but i've been mixing-up my loves. and actually, the physical, which i've put almost all my emphasis on, is really not a love at all. but something that is a natural progression of some of these loves, not to be given as much power as i have been giving it.

storge-the mother to child love, the natural love, the one that can be compromised by jealousy, but feels like home, and can make one feel like they are in solitude alongside someone-has come easy to me. i find this not only in my family but have in several friends.

philos-the friendship love, is unique. he explains it as a love that unites people from where they are, where they have a common goal. where lovers are pictured looking @ eachother, friends are pictured looking at the same thing, outside of one another. a common interest, a similar personality.

eros-the love of lovers. where he mentions beloved quite a bit and where most people think this is where the 'sexual' love resides (venus), he says that is a bi-product of the desire of the beloved whether or not the physical satisfaction is something that could be highly praised. this love he spoke of in more pure terms than i had heard in quite a while. and he referred, in the context of marriage, to the bride and bridegroom, the church and christ. and redefines that devotion picture-devotion to imperfect, inherently unlovable.

agape-i haven't gotten to this yet. i'll keep you posted. obviously divine love-the love exemplified in God.

i see how immature my actions have been. how hasty i have been to cultivate eros and mistakingly experiencing venus without philos or storge. lewis even makes point that it is childish thinking to assume that 'love' will immediately find it's home in eros without passing through the other two, or at least one of them first. and that most definately the physical love that i easily weigh so heavily is really not as important as i may like to think.

he refered to the satisfaction of this desire by relating it to a man's desire for cigarretes or wine. once the cigarretes are smoked, most definately the cardboard pack is thrown out and once the wine drunk, the bottle put in the trash.

that the satisfaction of this desire is just that, and really has nothing at all to do with love.