waking life

i've been having a reacurring dream lately about mobs of people gathering in wide-open fields, singing.

also a vision of a million car pile-up...one stacked half-way ontop of another...

and while listening to a live band 'the autumn project' at the mews on wednesday night--a strong electric guitar, synthesized backrgound and deafening drums, i was overwhelmed with pictures of these people's lives-the black and blue of their pasts & the glimpses of light that they grab ahold of.

so i'm somewhat caught in the middle of waking and dreaming. and i'm wondering if that's where He wants to keep me.

it makes me feel somewhat crazy. it makes me feel off-balance. it reinforces that this world is passing. but mostly it scares me.

and then again, for some reason, it doesn't.