hello!!!

i'm alive.
and well.

i miss you guys! things are good here in the land of sweaty nights (not what you're thinking, you sickos--i have no air conditioning) and unbearable allergies.

started class again. organic chem. is it wrong to say that i love it & it's fascinating? will i lose any friends? i think i'm a science geek underneath it all. i wish i would have spent less time in high school & college drinking & chasing after boys...maybe i would have found this out earlier. i also think that maybe i wasn't supposed to discover this till later in life. looking back, though, i always did best on ITBS (puke) in the math & science. go figure.

i want to study biochemistry.
the body's chemistry facinates me. now let's see if it can keep my attention long enough to get through this semester. one day at a time.

the man is good. again---everyday is completely new & different. and the days i don't let God show me how to love him i suck at it & i get needy & selfish & insecure. i really like us when He's in His right place. He tells me truths willingly if i will take just a second to ask him for them. DANG. how do people do this relationship stuff without Him?

j. and i are not kissing for a whole month. it's already brought out all sorts of emotions and fears and ugly things in me. amazing cuz he's the one who suggested it. i hope that we get some time to pray through this...we've been busy. and i've been scared to bring it up. but i know that we both have a lot of healing to get through for it to be the best.

almost everyday i want to quit at this relationship thing. (cuz i get scared) and truthfully i could, but i hear the Lord saying, 'i still have more to teach you. you are too accustomed to quitting. let's try accepting you can't do it without me.' and then it's really beautiful.

i went to his place for breakfast this morning. made us eggs and brought coffee from zanzibar's (we're trying to save money--$2.35 for ONE EGG!!) we sat on the back porch. him in a lawn chair, me in a dinning room chair. 70ish degrees out. he is the cutest in the morning. we talked of log cabins and bunions and his sister's relationship that is getting increasingly more serious. he has a lot of wisdom to offer in the area of hastiness in relationships. i'm glad he cares enough about her to tell her what he thinks.

i'm just now really listening to Coldplay's X&Y. i know. i'm way behind. it's ok. but what i really wanna hear is some elvis--the old stuff. before he was a druggy (if there was ever a time).